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I've been a part of this board for a while, and usually into the 8100's ... Stackers' Lounge forum

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    arysseus's Avatar
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    Question Serious question

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    I've been a part of this board for a while, and usually into the 8100's forums, however today I felt the need to ask the community a serious question for some mature advice:

    Girlfriend has a good job as an executive assistant, she's 18 (I'm 21). Gets paid 11 an hour salary. Soon she's going to be getting a raise to 15 an hour, but not for a few months, and i digress.

    I feel bad for her, because she works long *** hours. I mean LONG. Get up at 4am, be at work at 5am, and don't get off until 6pm. That's 13 hour workdays. If she does all week, comes out to her getting paid about 7.30 an hour (We live in california by the way).

    She wants to stick it out, since in 2011 they are selling company, probably for about 150 million, and employees get a share of that. How much she'll get we don't know. I feel like telling her though that it's not worth killing herself mentally at such a young age. 60+ hour work weeks, and on top of that she puts in work at home. I work night shift at my job, so I don't see her until 11:30pm when I come home, we go straight to bed and wake up at 4am again. Needless to say, we both tired as hell, since I wake up at 4am too and for an unknown reason can't ever seem to fall back asleep after I drop her off at work.

    What's your take on this? I'm content with living on simpler means if it means we're happier.. we see each other for about an hour a day (half hour at night, half hour in morning while taking her to work), and on the weekends we're so tired we basically just veg out (last friday we both fell asleep at six, and slept for 13 hours straight). Money is good now, however I would take on the added stress just to be able to see her for more than a few minutes each weekday, and not be tired on weekends.

    She is reluctant however, due to family past. Mother never graduated high school, and father isn't good with finances, so she moved a lot when young and had to live at extended family at times. I'm very good with money, etc.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by arysseus; 01-26-2009 at 07:13 PM. Reason: 11 an hour SALARY, sorry

  2. #2
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    I hardley see my wife either, she works days I work evenings and nights, Does your girlfriend have any other jobs lined up for when her company sells? In these tough economic times I wouldn't leave a job unless I had something else already lined up and that was a solid job. Your both young so maybe working all those hours will pay off in the long run. I'd just sit down with her and talk it out, see what would best work for the both of you. ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

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    wow, i don't think there's a simple answer to your problem.if what you are doing is short term, i think you need to sit down and talk it out with your girlfriend. if it looks like it might be longer than short term, i think you two need to look into other options. your time together is much more important than trying to get ahead if you can't enjoy it.....on a side note...the economy is not great right now so her job might be worth hanging on to. like i said...no simple answer.
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    Yes as stated before the economy is not something we might wanna play with. I completely understand where you are coming from, and that you would like to see the your lady a lot more than you do. I honestly think that we won't be able to give you an exact answer... You need to sit down with your girlfriend and just talk things out. And try to come to a mutual decesion.
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    I go with catstide on this one. If you don't mind me sharing my story, before i got married to my wonderful wife, we talked and agreed that whatever happens in the future, we must never be away from each other. We remain married for 10 years now. Finances remain a work in progress. She stays at home and takes care of the children. I do the "hunting". So they say, "different strokes for different folks". Both of you are very young -- enjoy love. When I was your age working at a radio station here in the Philippines, my mom told me one time -- we work to live and not the other way around. I hope you and your girlfriend will be able to find a solution, or a decision that is beneficial to the both of you, and to your relationship.

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    Yes, communication is key in any relationship. Talk it out. Determine a plan of action and then stick with it, especially if you are commited to each other, which it sounds as though you are.

    Two years is a long time and if I was your girlfriend, I'd make an effort to find out exactly what it means to her to stick it out for that long and if it's even guaranteed that she'll get a piece of that pie. If I'm giving up my blood, sweat and tears for a company for another two years, I'd make damn sure I had something in writing, notarized, signed, sealed and delivered! Get that part ironed out first and with that peace of mind, move on and determine what's best for your futures together.

    Mention has been made of the economy here. The best time to look for a job is when you have one, so if there are other options for your girlfriend, she should start looking around. Again, find out what the "end result" is going to be at her current employer. It is obviously taking its toll on your relationship, but the reward could be worth sticking it out. If not, you've got time to find something that will work better for your long term goals.

    Good luck!

    Roger

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    Thanks to all. Yes, we are deeply committed to each other and have been (long relationship), and so two more years of this we could handle, although difficult. My main concern has just been that of her mental health. Rather her not look back on these years and say "wow, I would rather have made less money and experienced more". Myself, during my 18-20 years, I traveled across the United States and worked a lot of jobs before settling down at the ripe old age of 21 (joking), and I wouldn't re-do that any other way for the world.

    An interesting point has come up though in all this: when I said that her 60 hour work weeks that she's been doing for the last seven months or so effectively puts her at 7.30 an hour, it was brought to my attention by some of my legal buddies that 7.30 is below California Minimum Wage, and that even though she is on salary there might be some legal ramifications to that.

    Thanks again for all the support guys! I'll let you know what happens in the future.

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    I don't want to sound negitive but if either of you are not happy with the salary she is getting I am assuming she doesn't have any post secondary education. Instead of waisting time working for next to nothing put your efforts to sending her to college or university. To get a good education and start making 50 - 100 K instead of 20K. May be hard at first but always pays off in the long run.
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    For some reason the movie The Devil Wears Prada just came to mind.

    I'd have to say that although the work experience and the money is nice, your relationship is more important than any of those things. You need to spend time together. If she keeps working those hours, eventually she is going to burn out. Her health will suffer from it.

    Sticking out a job for 2 more years because she is going to get an unknown portion of the sale is just crazy! Money isn't worth your health or your relationship.

    Talk with her. Maybe you can do some research on other jobs that she might be qualified for. If you have a possible plan for her and show her that it will be okay if she quits and gets another job, it might be easier to convince her.
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    I just finished reading about your situation and just thought bout adding my 2 cents to this.

    As a person who works nights and 60+ hrs a week(12a-10a 6 days), time to spend with others is hard to come by. But at the same time a job that you like or can deal with and that pays decently is also hard to come by. Stick with it cuz its not always better on the other side.

    Right now you're young so its a lil bit easier, but I know there are things you wanna do but can't cuz of work. Basically what I'm saying is get it while you can. Changing employment when not too nessecary with how things are today might not be right choice. But only you two can make that decision. Just wanted to cast my shadow on the subject. ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

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    One more thing. Those long hours do take a toll on you to. I've been doing 60+ for the last 2 years, Never missed a day, and I'm burnt. But having things that can take you to your happy place(yes that came from happy gilmore) helps a lot. And so does a vacation. Look into it. Sometimes a break is needed to keep going. ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by arysseus View Post
    I've been a part of this board for a while, and usually into the 8100's forums, however today I felt the need to ask the community a serious question for some mature advice:

    Girlfriend has a good job as an executive assistant, she's 18 (I'm 21). Gets paid 11 an hour salary. Soon she's going to be getting a raise to 15 an hour, but not for a few months, and i digress.

    I feel bad for her, because she works long *** hours. I mean LONG. Get up at 4am, be at work at 5am, and don't get off until 6pm. That's 13 hour workdays. If she does all week, comes out to her getting paid about 7.30 an hour (We live in california by the way).

    She wants to stick it out, since in 2011 they are selling company, probably for about 150 million, and employees get a share of that. How much she'll get we don't know. I feel like telling her though that it's not worth killing herself mentally at such a young age. 60+ hour work weeks, and on top of that she puts in work at home. I work night shift at my job, so I don't see her until 11:30pm when I come home, we go straight to bed and wake up at 4am again. Needless to say, we both tired as hell, since I wake up at 4am too and for an unknown reason can't ever seem to fall back asleep after I drop her off at work.

    What's your take on this? I'm content with living on simpler means if it means we're happier.. we see each other for about an hour a day (half hour at night, half hour in morning while taking her to work), and on the weekends we're so tired we basically just veg out (last friday we both fell asleep at six, and slept for 13 hours straight). Money is good now, however I would take on the added stress just to be able to see her for more than a few minutes each weekday, and not be tired on weekends.

    She is reluctant however, due to family past. Mother never graduated high school, and father isn't good with finances, so she moved a lot when young and had to live at extended family at times. I'm very good with money, etc.

    Thoughts?

    That's not your gf----that's your roomate. Check with the dept of labor for saleried persons. Lowe's Home Improvement recently settled a lawsuit where their saleried sales staff where required to work a min of 48hrs per week and avereged 60. I really enjoyed cashing the check for all of the ot they owed me. They have since changed their policy. Typically saleried personel have a cap and can be compensated for the extra hours. Good luck
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