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An eldery woman in her 80's was driving through a small town out in the ... Stackers' Lounge forum

  1. #1
    Justyn's Avatar
    Justyn no está en línea Stack level 6
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    Jun 2007

    Senior Citizen Speed Racer


    An eldery woman in her 80's was driving through a small town out in the country. She was enjoying her ride, doing 75 miles an hour in a 35 zone. A young deputy clocks her and turns his lights and sirens on. The woman pulls the car over and the young deputy exits his squad car, walking towards the woman's car with his ticket book in hand.

    Deputy: Ma'am, I'm gonna need yer license...

    Woman: It's suspended officer

    Deputy: ... yer regestration...

    Woman: Car ain't mine!

    Deputy: ...and proof... of... wait a minute ma'am, yer license is expired and the car ain't yers?

    Woman: That's right!

    Deputy: Well then whose is it then?

    Woman: Stole it, I don't know the feller's name, but I killed the son-of-a-b**** and stuck his body in the trunk!

    The deputy wasn't trained for a situation like this, coming from a small town and all. He shook like Barney Fife and radioed in for backup, ordering the woman to remain in the car with her hands on the wheel. Minute's later 3 State Trooper cars followed by a helicopter stopped to assist the young deputy.
    With guns drawn, one Trooper told her to come out of the car with her hands up. She complied. After grabbing the car keys from the woman's hand another Trooper opened the trunk, revealing a spare tire.

    Trooper: Nothin' here but a spare, Sarge!

    Sarge: Ma'am, where'd ya stick the body?

    Woman: What body?

    Sarge: The body of whoever owns this here vehicle!

    Woman: Vehicle's mine officer, regestration's in the glove box!

    A trooper opened the glove compartment, finding the woman's regestration and proof of insurrance.

    Trooper: It's the truth Sarge!

    Sarge: Well what's this I hear you're drivin' on a suspended license?

    Woman: My license is in my purse, limme go get it.

    The trooper agreed and she showed him her license.

    Calling off all the backup, the Sarge appologized.

    Sarge: Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry. The deputy that stopped you told us you stole this car, killed the owner, stuck his body in the trunk, and that your license is suspended.

    Woman: Betcha that mother-f***ing liar told ya I was speeding too!
    It's not an iPhone addiction, it's insomnia!

  2. #2
    13etty's Avatar
    13etty no está en línea Stack level 2
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    Sep 2007

    Re: Senior Citizen Speed Racer

    lmao thats funny !!!

  3. #3
    Eddie_gauge's Avatar
    Eddie_gauge no está en línea Stack level 7
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    Apr 2007

    Re: Senior Citizen Speed Racer

    Lmao. That was great.

  4. #4
    sadie84's Avatar
    sadie84 no está en línea Stack level 7
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    Sep 2007

    Re: Senior Citizen Speed Racer

    Like the angel you are you laugh creating a lightness in my chest,
    Your eyes they penetrate me,
    (Your answer's always 'maybe')
    That's when I got up and left.

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