Results 1 to 14 of 14

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 ... Stackers' Lounge forum

  1. #1
    JadedBerry's Avatar
    JadedBerry no está en línea Stack level 4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    PIN/ID
    203B4165
    Posts
    624

    Military Oaths of Enlistment

    Advertisement



    US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

    "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the
    UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army,
    because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over
    waist-deep.

    I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real
    exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of
    exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name
    because I find it amusing to annoy the other services.


    I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at
    all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact.

    After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean,
    donut-eating, Lazy-Boy
    sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will
    believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the
    knife before stabbing the next person in the
    back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So
    Help Me God!"

    ____________________
    Signature
    ____________________
    Date



    US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

    "I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED
    STATES
    ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the
    Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take
    me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my
    trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing
    straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I
    have a date.

    I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because
    my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I
    will see is a court-martial for sexual
    harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I w ill make E-8 in my first year
    of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my
    PT test.

    After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will
    attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less
    than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will
    walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will
    make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a
    better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will
    continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of
    knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to
    work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at
    1300 to report back to "COMPANY."


    I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me
    get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my
    friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving
    me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass
    a placement exam. So Help Me God!"

    _____________________
    Signature
    _____________________
    Date



    US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT


    "I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my
    life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines
    without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air
    Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt
    like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?"

    I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my
    name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand
    that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for
    Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different
    language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like
    "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I
    really mean is "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and
    toilet."

    I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and
    insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different
    from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.


    I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am
    buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930.


    I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand
    up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a
    drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice
    per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required
    to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my
    newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"

    ______________________
    Signature
    ______________________
    Date




    US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

    "I, (pick a name the police won't recognize),
    swear…uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt...
    cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow
    up....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors’ wives.....air
    strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call…
    ....salute....Ooorah…Gunny....grenades...women.... OORAH! So Help Me
    CHESTY
    PULLER!"

    X____________________
    Thumb Print

    XX _________________________________
    Teeth Marks
    _____________________
    Date
    One out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.


  2. #2
    hayden's Avatar
    hayden no está en línea Stack Mod
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    PIN/ID
    ask
    Posts
    12,440

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    Lol will read the rest later have to get to work.

  3. #3
    Rcbjr's Avatar
    Rcbjr no está en línea Stack Pro
    Join Date
    May 2006
    PIN/ID
    PM - Ask
    Posts
    14,848

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    Jade, Thanks for the morning laugh. You been out on the town with your friends again?

    Rcbjr
    You Ask, We Will Answer
    Can’t Install theme via DM?No Additional Apps Found for Your Device
    Links to Usefull KB Articles

  4. #4
    peguero's Avatar
    peguero no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    PIN/ID
    21958312
    Posts
    979

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    HEY!!!

    That is a highly offensive, crude and sadistic joke about our armed services...I know some Marines who do sign with their thumb print......cause they lost the rest of their hands defending this country.








    ROFLMAO...- just kidding this was funny.

    I sent this thread to my military buddies..they're going to track you down via your PIN and toilet paper your house. And light a large bag of manure on fire in front of your door using a satellite laser beam (our tax dollars hard at work.)

  5. #5
    cp6169's Avatar
    cp6169 no está en línea Device Pro
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    PIN/ID
    3056468b
    Posts
    14,661

  6. #6
    ljbyar's Avatar
    ljbyar no está en línea Device Pro
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    PIN/ID
    Ask Me
    Posts
    7,818

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    That was great! Thanks!

  7. #7
    bcuzi8paintchips's Avatar
    bcuzi8paintchips no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    PIN/ID
    ask
    Posts
    1,804

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    I'm a 10 year Navy Vet. Should I take offense?


    Just kidding!

  8. #8
    JadedBerry's Avatar
    JadedBerry no está en línea Stack level 4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    PIN/ID
    203B4165
    Posts
    624

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    Quote Originally Posted by Rcbjr
    Jade, Thanks for the morning laugh. You been out on the town with your friends again?

    Rcbjr

    No, lol! I got this in email this morning and thought y'all would enjoy a morning laugh. I needed it for sure facing a 16 hour work day that turned into a 17 hour work day not including the hour long drive both going and coming. I'm exhausted..lol.

    Jade
    One out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.


  9. #9
    Dirty Cash's Avatar
    Dirty Cash no está en línea Stack Pro
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    PIN/ID
    3G
    Posts
    1,566

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    That was pretty much right on the money! Especially with the Air Force (we don't exclusively use the bike test anymore!!!) that's the main reason why I have been in the Air Force for the past 13.5 years!!! I love it!

    ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

  10. #10
    SuzzyP's Avatar
    SuzzyP no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    PIN/ID
    ask
    Posts
    1,752

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~OMG that was great.....

  11. #11
    EricaJ1073's Avatar
    EricaJ1073 no está en línea PINStacked!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,420

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    LOL That was hilarious. I have several family members in the Air Force and my dad (and others) were in the Army.


  12. #12
    GhostPirate's Avatar
    GhostPirate no está en línea Stack level 2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    35

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    LOL Very interesting, I don't remember anything in Special Ops, except winning the hearts and minds of others and ______ _______ We were the unwilling, lead by the unqualified, too do the impossible, for the ungrateful....

  13. #13
    Dirty Cash's Avatar
    Dirty Cash no está en línea Stack Pro
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    PIN/ID
    3G
    Posts
    1,566

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    That sounds like someone speaking the truth!!!

    ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

  14. #14
    jarot48's Avatar
    jarot48 no está en línea Stack level 3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    PIN/ID
    244BA859
    Posts
    366

    Re: Military Oaths of Enlistment

    Super funny, thanks....
    Jarot48
    PIN 244BA859

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •