Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast
Results 46 to 60 of 92
Like Tree15Likes

do you guys have any idea how hard It is to find ios and android ... Stackers' Lounge forum

  1. #46
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357

    Advertisement



    do you guys have any idea how hard It is to find ios and android jokes ? but I mean good ones.

    Sorry dushdavji, I did not post the black berry jokes because I dislike black berry but only because I found them to be humorous.

  2. #47
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    Quote Originally Posted by Delfim View Post
    Carry on like that and the ravens of BB will fly south to peck the living day lights out of you!
    just as long as these jokes stay off twitter, I'll be fine....though I was nervous that dushdajavi would go all black belt berry on me.

    relax Del. if it gets to hot then I'll withdraw with the bb jokes...but you gotta admit...they were funny.

    or rather what are your preferred jokes ? there's no point that I post jokes that no one likes.

  3. #48
    dushdavj's Avatar
    dushdavj no está en línea Stack Professional
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    PIN/ID
    Ask Me
    Posts
    2,283
    Quote Originally Posted by KTW View Post
    do you guys have any idea how hard It is to find ios and android jokes ? but I mean good ones.

    Sorry dushdavji, I did not post the black berry jokes because I dislike black berry but only because I found them to be humorous.
    I wouldn't worry KTW I don't take offense to comments about BB, I don't tend to take offense to comments about me , I have found all the jokes you have posted amusing (some are a bit old though). To be honest it is easy to find jokes about IPhone or Android you just use the ones you already posted and swap the subjects around.
    Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful, and optimistic. And we will change the world. - Jack Layton (1950-2011)
    Blackberry PlayBook 64GB Nokia 1020, Microsoft Surface PRO 2

  4. #49
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    A vampire bat came flapping in from the night
    covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the
    roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all
    the other bats smelled the blood and began
    hassling him about where he got it. He told them
    to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in."OK, follow me"
    he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of
    bats behind him. Down through the valley they
    went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
    Finally he slowed down and all the other bats
    excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!"
    the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the
    bat, "Because I sure as anything didn't!"

  5. #50
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does
    anyone here own that rottweiler outside?""Yeah, I
    do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about
    it?""Well, I think my chihuahua just killed
    him...""What are you talkin' about?!" the biker
    says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in
    your dog's throat!"

  6. #51
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    "This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire."If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

  7. #52
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan.He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques.Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office.Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander.He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility.Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?"The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."

  8. #53
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. "I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line. "That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

  9. #54
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang. The man picked it up and answered it. "Hi honey," said the woman on the other end. "Hi honey," replied the man. "I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today. It's beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me. It's on sale too, a real bargain. It's down to $2000 from $4000. Can I get it?" The man thought about it for a sec and said, "You're sure it's a good deal?" "Oh yes," replied the woman. "Okay then, I guess you can get it," replied the man. The woman continued,"Oh, and you know how we've been thinking about getting rid of the Lexus and getting a new Jaguar? Well, I went to the dealership today and the guy gave me a real deal. He said he'd lower the price from $50,000 to $35,000 just for me. Can I get it?" The man thought a little harder and said,"If you're sure it's a good deal, then yes, go ahead and get the Jaguar." The woman continued again. "Oh, one last thing, honey. Remember that house we saw last month that we really liked, but decided we'd wait and think about? Well, it's on the market again, so I checked the price. It's down to $450,000 and I checked with the bank and we have enough in the checking account so that I can just write a check. Should I get it?" The man got a frown on his face and said,"See if you can get them down to $420,000. If they'll go down to that, go ahead and get it." The woman was extremely excited. "Okay honey, thank you so much! I'll see you when I get home! Bye!" "Bye," said the man. He hung up the phone and looked at the other men in the locker room and said, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

  10. #55
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    HUMOROUS REAL LIFE INSURANCE CLAIMS

    While insurance plays an important role in society there are pitfalls to any social system.

    everybody on this list is out to suck as much money as they can from the insurance companies…some are genuinely having a terribly unfortunate day, but either way these claims can be pretty funny. These are the 25 most ridiculous insurance claims ever.

    Cow Lick

    A couple vacationing isurance claim for the paint on their car after it got licked off by a herd of cows.


    Monkey Business

    While vacationing in Malasia a couple had their clothes stolen and scattered around the jungle by a thieving band of monkeys. The insurance company agreed to cover their losses.


    Parachute Problems

    A family on vacation in England were in for a surprise

    parachutist

    destroying most of it. The insurance company wouldn’t pay for the damages.

  11. #56
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    Nokia Cake
    A North Carolina woman somehow managed to
    accidentally bake her Nokia phone in her daughters
    birthday cake. The insurance company declined to pay
    damages.


    Where’d the snow go?
    A British woman that bought new skis to go skiing in
    the Alps decided to try collecting on them after she
    arrived and realized there was no snow. The insurance
    company refused citing her lack of foresight.


    Loose Teeth
    A man on an Alaskan cruise apparently lost his dentures
    overboard as he was surveying the ocean. He filed a
    lost baggage claim with the insurance company but was
    denied.


    Buried Treasure
    The children of a couple on vacation in Italy ended up
    burying their parent’s camera in the sand. Fortunately
    the insurance company didn’t bury their claim.


    A Titanic Claim
    A couple made a claim on their camera after they lost it
    over the side of cruise ship trying to film themselves
    recreating that scene in Titanic.

    Head Butt
    A claim was filed by a Virginia man stating that his
    windshield was head butted by an angry deer on his
    way to work. Unfortunately evidence was lacking.


    A Goose and a Diamond
    A Texas woman filed a claim on her diamond ring after
    her goose swallowed it. Apparently she had spent
    several weeks sifting through goose poop without any
    luck. The insurance company refused to pay but did
    suggest dissection. The woman’s tough choice was
    made for her when the goose flew away.


    Watch Out
    Rolex
    A jeweler in London tried to file a claim when a
    customer brought him a 200 pound watch to fix. He
    accidentally ended up returning him a 10,000 pound
    watch but the insurance company decided he was on
    his own.

  12. #57
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    And now the best for last (i make multiple posts because my browser gives me hassles)

    Up In Smoke
    Cigars
    A clever lawyer bought a pack of cigars and had them
    insured against all sorts of catastrophes including
    floods, storms, and of course fire. A few months later he
    filed a claim saying his cigars had all disappeared in a
    series of “small fires”. The insurance company correctly
    assumed that he had smoked them and told him to get
    lost. The judge however force the insurance company to
    pay up because they didn’t specify the type or size of
    fire in the contract.

  13. #58
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    Which are your favorites ?

  14. #59
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    And now for some news...old news

    MOSES LAKE – A truck driver checked his fuel tank with
    a lighter and inured himself when the fumes ignited early
    Friday morning.
    Robert W. Albert, a 44-year-old Union Gap man, was
    taken to Samaritan Hospital for treatment, according to
    the Moses Lake police.
    Albert reportedly told police his fuel gage didn’t work
    and he used a lighter to see inside the fuel tank on a
    white 1997 Kenworth semi-truck. The fumes ignited in
    the tank and injured Albert, according to the police.
    The truck was parked at Ameri Cold on Road N
    Northeast in Moses Lake.

  15. #60
    KTW's Avatar
    KTW
    KTW no está en línea Stack level 5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,357
    (12 April 2008, Florida) Traffic was moving slowly on
    southbound I-95. Shawn M. had recently left a
    Pompano Beach bar, and now he was stuck in traffic.
    As the saying goes, you don't buy beer--you just rent it,
    and Shawn couldn't wait another moment to relieve
    himself. "I need to take a leak," he told his friends.
    Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man
    climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped
    over the low concrete wall supposing there was another road behind it ... after he was gone for a while his friends went to check on him only to discover there wasn't a road behind the wall but a 65 foot drop.

    The
    car was idling on an overpass above the railroad lines.
    Last edited by KTW; 07-19-2013 at 07:00 PM.

Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst 1234567 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •