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My sweety and I have been together for three years now She loves spending time ... Stackers' Lounge forum

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    Yellowfin's Avatar
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    Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

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    My sweety and I have been together for three years now She loves spending time outdoors with me walking, jogging, biking, picking berries and fruits and nuts, bird watching, fishing, kayaking, and just about anything else we can think of. She's as absolutely wonderful as she can be and loves new experiences. She's also seeing the need to keep in shape as are most people, and being that it's spring she would like to do as much as possible outdoors. We bike as often as possible but that can be time consuming and does nothing for the upper body. Around comes our anniversary and she would like something fun and perhaps exciting and interesting. Aha, a solution: archery! Perfect! I happened to have done a good bit in years past before some slimeball stole my good bow a couple of years ago, so soon I could get one and we'd have yet another good thing to do together side by side...for the moment I'd just retrieve arrows and coach her a bit. We have a completely fenced in back yard just the right size for it which we have used for absolutely nothing else in two years. I spent a couple of weeks researching what generally works, how to spot a good one for her, and how to go about implementing it for her. I shopped around a lot locally and online, and found a good bow that was already set decently short and light to make it easier for her to use and still had a little room for adjustment if need be, not to mention less than half the price of the one in the primo store I was about two seconds and fifty bucks short of buying. The bow, 11 arrows, quiver, a big hard case, and a release for it all topping out at just a squeak under $90. Not bad! All a good investment in her well being and good time to spend together outside, getting some exercise yet being home and keeping it simple.

    She was having a totally crappy day yesterday so I thought it would cheer her up to give it to her early. WRONG. She completely reacted totally horribly, thinking it totally weird and un-girly and not something that only a fringe outcast minority (nevermind the hundreds of thousands of those who do worldwide and have done so for milennia, as school sport and in the Olympics for both men and women) ever do and proceeded to be mad and disappointed and some kind of moody breakdown. Of course she happens to originate from northern Philadelphia, PA and the only people she knew up there are mid 20's lifelong city girls and the maybe 4 or 5 males being exclusively gay or losers. Not a single person in her family hunted, fished (and nearly all afraid of water), or even went to football games for her entire life. She assumes THAT background to be how the majority of people live and upon differences of opinion spontaneously appoints herself as an omniscient authority on public opinion and demography. Only after both of us cleaning house and cooking dinner and about 4 1/2 hours was she back to being happy and by bed time appreciative of the bow as I gave her a massage and explained that it would be a zen tool for her to relax and remove herself from her troubles, as she is a psychologist and grad student with way too much stress.

    Things will be better today. Anyone have tips on how to go about getting things going for her in the right direction...er, I mean correctly, that is? And NO I am NOT giving up. Useful points only, please.

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    NerdWeez's Avatar
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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    It doesn't sound like archery is going to cheer her up at the moment. If she feels like going out then take her out for a nice night, if she isn't in the mood to go anywhere then cook dinner, rent movies, remind her that she means the world to you and that there's nobody else as special as her... those types of things... maybe anyway.
    "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world yet lose his soul?" -Jesus Christ

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    One question....was she PMSing? I mean that's an honest question there...sounds like a lot of emotions going on there which might be directly related to some PMSing. lol

    I don't know where you live, but kayaking is good for upper body workouts and maybe she wouldn't think it was so ungirly to do that. Is she afraid of the water, or just her family members?

    Hasn't gone to a football game??? That's is a crying shame!! I couldn't even begin to count the number of Buc's games I've been to.

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    PMS may be a culprit here. Kayaking would be an option here but I don't have mine up here--at the beach 5 hours away and don't presently have a roof rack and she fears snakes around here. Since being here with me she's been to quite a few University of Alabama football games (a hell of a way to start out, eh?), but yeah never had before and nor have any of her family to date. She's not afraid of the water at all anymore though slightly hesitant at times with boats but is learning to kayak a bit at a time, so far likes it but is a little unsure since they tip easily.

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by Yellowfin
    PMS may be a culprit here. Kayaking would be an option here but I don't have mine up here--at the beach 5 hours away and don't presently have a roof rack and she fears snakes around here. Since being here with me she's been to quite a few University of Alabama football games (a hell of a way to start out, eh?), but yeah never had before and nor have any of her family to date. She's not afraid of the water at all anymore though slightly hesitant at times with boats but is learning to kayak a bit at a time, so far likes it but is a little unsure since they tip easily.
    Try canoeing then (if you get around water), same thing just not as easy to tip over. Also rock climbing is indoors at a lot of places which could be an option.

    Sounds to me like she was already upset and so that fueled her reaction to your suggesting archery. We women can be very emotional and confusing lol. But the important part is you actually care about doing something with her that she would enjoy, which says a lot.

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Indeed, and having something that's outdoors yet at home would make for something she could do more often. Also I should reiterate that I offer the possibility of archery as a means of venting by skewering a target with pointy arrows like a voodoo doll as an alternative to venting at ME. I didn't guess that the very instance of the gift would need its own mechanism!

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Sounds like you need to move to FL then lol lots of stuff to do outdoors yet close to home.

    But if she's scared of snakes, I couldn't imagine she'd enjoy all the critters we have here in FL..aligators, snakes, eels, sharks, lizards to name a few. now to me lizards are not scary at all, but I freaking die laughing when a northerner sees a lizard, it amazes me how scared people can be of them...and they don't even bite or sting.

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    hls811's Avatar
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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Hmm.. offer to put an apple on your head and give her one chance to knock it off..
    If nothing else, you might get a laugh out of her!

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Or a arrow through the skull!!!!!!!

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by moses2628
    Or a arrow through the skull!!!!!!!
    LOL I am late seeing this thread but it seems like she needs to relieve a LOT of stress. One thing I did after a bad breakup was go paintballing at camp (I know 2 other females who did this so it does work). After 2 rounds of shooting everything (but humans) that reminded me of my ex, I felt a LOT better and have been much happier.

    How are things going now for you and her? I hope it got better. We have a funny way of expressing emotions LOL


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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    ever tried ab-sailing its supposed to build good partnership.
    Death is only the beginning

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    take a contract out on her *** lol
    saves you money in the long run !! ??

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    Re: Help please! Recovery from a gift gone wrong

    ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~ an update: she enjoys it now and likes very much to shoot her bow together with me in the backyard. I got myself a new bow a couple of weeks ago and shoot it every day, and she shoots two or three times a week. I think she needs maybe a better bow that's smaller and more manageable to enjoy it optimally and I think I'll be able to do that reasonably soon.

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