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  1. #1
    Justyn's Avatar
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    Funny Stuff with 12 days of Christmas

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    Dearest John:
    I went to the door today and the postman delivered
    a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly
    delightful gift. I couldn't have been more
    surprised.
    With deepest love and devotion,
    Agnes

    On the second day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 15, 1994
    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
    Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted
    at your very thoughtful gift. They are just
    adorable.
    All my love,
    Agnes

    On the third day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 16, 1994
    Dearest John:
    Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really
    must protest. I don't deserve such generosity,
    Three French hens. They are just darling but I must
    insist, you've been too kind.
    Love,
    Agnes

    On the fourth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 17, 1994
    Dear John,
    Today the postman delivered 4 calling birds. Now
    really, they are beautiful but don't you think
    enough is enough. You're being too romantic.
    Affectionately,
    Agnes

    On the fifth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 18, 1994
    Dearest John:
    What a surprise. Today the postman delivered 5
    golden rings; one for every finger. You're just
    impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds
    squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
    All my love,
    Anges

    On the sixth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 19, 1994
    Dear John:
    When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese
    a-laying on my front steps. So, you're back to
    the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where
    will I ever keep them? The neighbors are
    complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
    Please stop.
    Cordially,
    Agnes

    On the seventh day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 20, 1994
    John:
    What's with you and those crazy birds? 7 swans
    a-swimming. What kind of terrible joke is this?
    There's bird poop all over the house, and they
    never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at
    night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny.
    So stop sending me all these birds!
    Sincerely,
    Agnes

    On the eighth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 21, 1994
    O.K. Buster:
    I think I prefer the birds. What am I going to do
    with 8 maids a-milking? It's not enough with all
    those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to
    bring their cows! There is poop all over the lawn
    and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me,
    jerk.
    Agnes

    On the ninth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 22, 1994
    Hey! Toejam,
    What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9
    pipers playing. And boy, do they play. They've
    never stopped chasing those maids since they got
    here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset,
    and they're stepping all over those screeching
    birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have
    started a petition to evict me.
    You'll get yours,
    Agnes

    On the tenth day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 23, 1994
    You Rotten Sadist,
    Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I
    call them ladies. They've been messing with
    those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't
    sleep and they've got the diarrhea. My living
    room is worse than an outhouse. The Commissioner of
    Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this
    building shouldn't be condemned.
    I'm sicking the police on you.
    One who means it.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas
    Miss Agnes McHolstein
    69 Cash Avenue
    Beaver Valley, Colorado
    December 24, 1994
    Listen! Looser,
    What's with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids
    and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk
    again. Those pipers ran through the maids and
    have been chasing the cows. All
    23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled
    to death in the frat party. I hope you're satisfied,
    you rotten, vicious swine.
    Your sworn enemy,
    Agnes

    On the twelth day of Christmas
    Law Offices
    Badger, Bender and Cahole
    303 Knave Street
    Chicago, Illinois
    December 25, 1994
    Dear Sir:
    This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12
    fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to
    inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.
    The destruction, of course, was total. All
    correspondence should come to our attention.
    If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein
    at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have
    instructions to shoot you on sight. With this
    letter please find attached warrant for your
    arrest.
    Cordially,
    Badger, Bender and Cahole
    Last edited by Justyn; 12-27-2008 at 04:56 PM.
    It's not an iPhone addiction, it's insomnia!

  2. #2
    mrstaccs's Avatar
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    Hahahaha. I found that long but interesting. Thanks for the laff ~via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~

  3. #3
    InfinityPlayer's Avatar
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    That was funny

    Justyn, i hope you don't mind, but i copied what you said about the 12 days, and i would like to send it to my friends, OK?

    I really hope you don't mind. Let me know how you feel about that, cos i haven't sent it yet.
    Define irony: A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song that was sung by a band that got killed on a plane. - By a man who is in a movie about those very idiots dancing on the plane he was on.

  4. #4
    Justyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InfinityPlayer View Post
    Justyn, i hope you don't mind, but i copied what you said about the 12 days, and i would like to send it to my friends, OK?

    I really hope you don't mind. Let me know how you feel about that, cos i haven't sent it yet.

    Due to the fact that I wrote it, I will sue you for copying it. I will sue you for 53 cents, which will go up a half penny every month. I hope your pockets are deep!!!!

    Dude, I copied this off of Google! No worries. I got an email with this about 5 years back and searched and searched and finallyu found it. Wanted to share some laughs with fellow stackers. So by all means, copy it, email it, post a bulletin on Myspace... I don't care. I'm just glad someone else decided to read this. Looks like everyone who opens this thread sees how long it is and says "no way I'm reading that!"

    But yeah, it's worth it.
    It's not an iPhone addiction, it's insomnia!

  5. #5
    thbassman's Avatar
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    Good laugh, Hope married life is well

    thanks justyn
    THBASSMAN

    Carpe Diem!!

    thbassmanatpinstackdotcom

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