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We engineers built the world... but we are not above poking fun at ourselves. This ... Stackers' Lounge forum

  1. #1
    gkast1's Avatar
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    Engineering fun


    We engineers built the world... but we are not above poking fun at
    ourselves. This thread is dedicated to jokes about engineers.

    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
    one said,

    "--Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second engineer replied,

    "--Well, I was walking along yesterday,
    minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
    threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'

    The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,

    "--Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn't fit you anyway."

    Or to pithy remarks, like

    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
    half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

  2. #2
    puppylove's Avatar
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    That's a good one and it could be applied to many professions. Thanks for the laugh.

  3. #3
    gkast1's Avatar
    gkast1 no está en línea Stack level 6
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    You are welcome! Here is another

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed,

    "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

    The doctor chimed in,

    "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

    The priest said,

    "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
    He said, "Hello Walter, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
    They're rather slow, aren't they?"

    The green-keeper replied,

    "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
    They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
    always let them play for free anytime."

    The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said,

    "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

    The doctor said,

    "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

    The engineer said,

    "Why can't they play at night?"

  4. #4
    gkast1's Avatar
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    Here is another one.

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
    and said,

    "-- If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
    The frog spoke up again and said,

    "-- If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
    it to the pocket.
    The frog then cried out,

    "-- If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and I'll do ANYTHING you want!!"

    Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
    his pocket. Finally, the frog asked,

    "-- What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said,

    "-- Look, I don't have time for a girlfriend... but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

  5. #5
    gkast1's Avatar
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    Girlfriend for engineers :)

    >>She walks like a lady, swings her hips to music and is always affectionate. Meet Emma, a 38cm-tall "lovable" humanoid. Her creators at Sega promise that her infared sensors and battery power allow her to act like a "real girlfriend"

    A frightening thought

  6. #6
    rickerb69's Avatar
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    Haha!! Funny gkast keep 'em coming!

  7. #7
    cwax's Avatar
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    REAL ENGINEERS... · Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
    · Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
    · Real Engineers wear mustaches or beards for "efficiency". Not because they're lazy.
    · Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
    · Real Engineers think a "biting wit" is their fox terrier.
    · Real Engineers know the second law of thermodynamics - but not their own shirt size.
    · Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.
    · Real Engineers say "It's 70 degrees Fahrenheit, 25 degrees Celsius, and 298 degrees Kelvin" and all you say is "Isn't it a nice day"
    · Real Engineers give you the feeling you're having a conversation with a dial tone or busy signal.
    · Real Engineers wear badges so they don't forget who they are. Sometimes a note is attached saying "Don't offer me a ride today. I drove my own car".
    · Real Engineers' politics run towards acquiring a parking space with their name on it and an office with a window.
    · Real Engineers know the "ABC's of Infrared" from A to B.
    · Real Engineers rotate their tires for laughs.
    · Real Engineers will make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath.
    · Real Engineers' briefcases contain a Phillips screwdriver, a copy of "Quantum Physics", and a half of a peanut butter sandwich.
    · Real Engineers don't find the above at all funny

    An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

  8. #8
    thbassman's Avatar
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    Gkast those were great, thanks i needed a good laugh!

    Carpe Diem!!


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    My TORCH Rocks!

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