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A blind man in a store A blind man walks into a store with his ... IT & Business Pros forum

  1. #61
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    Re: Jokes

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    A blind man in a store

    A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  2. #62
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    Re: Jokes

    That was pretty funny!

  3. #63
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    Re: Jokes

    Little Johnny at age 25
    Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to
    someone else...
    One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll
    give you a $1,000 dollars if you let me screw you.....but the girl
    said NO!.
    Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend
    down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a
    moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so
    she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
    Her boyfriend says ask him for $2,000 dollars, pick up the money very
    fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.
    So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
    Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.

    Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
    She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

    Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's
    entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

    Hope I didn't offend anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    " GROWN MAN GADGET"
    " WATCHA YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT"
    PIN# 249F0817

  4. #64
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    Re: Jokes

    ~~Posted via BB (wap.pinstack.com)~~
    * During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

  5. #65
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    Re: Jokes

    lmao

  6. #66
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    Re: Jokes

    lol that's a good one butterfly
    Gina-Lisa James,
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  7. #67
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    Re: Jokes

    [FONT=Courier New][/FONT]
    [FONT=Courier New][/FONT]
    [FONT=Courier New]Two women had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very

    [/FONT] faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic
    on
    the Apple Martinis and wine. Incredibly drunk & walking home they
    needed
    to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

    One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off
    her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather
    expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky
    enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on
    it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their
    business they continued home.

    The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his
    normally
    sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
    other husband and said, "These damn night's out have got to stop.
    I'm starting to suspect the worst... my wife came home with no panties
    on!"

    "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card
    stuck in the crack of her butt that said, "From all of us at the Fire
    Station.
    We'll never forget you."
    Gina-Lisa James,
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  8. #68
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    Re: Jokes

    hahahhhaaaa.....lmao...funny Gina
    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  9. #69
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    Re: Jokes

    You from New York?

    Signs You're from New York
    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.
    2. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.
    3. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
    4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
    5. The homeless are invisible.
    6. The subway makes sense.
    7. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
    8. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
    9. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.
    10. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".
    11. Your door has more than three locks.
    12. You go to a hockey game for the fighting. In the stands. To participate.
    13. Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
    14. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
    15. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
    16. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
    17. You complain about having to mow it.
    18. You are a skee-ball juggernaut.
    19. You consider Westchester "Upstate".
    20. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Judge Wapner.
    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  10. #70
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    Re: Jokes

    Be politically correct

    How to be politically correct with women

    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

    She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

    She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

    She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

    She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

    She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

    She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

    She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

    She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

    She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

    She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

    She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

    She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

    She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

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    Re: Jokes

    International Symbol Of Marriage

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

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    Re: Jokes

    Cloning Isn't as Easy as It Sounds...

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  13. #73
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    Re: Jokes

    The African Highway and Transportation System...

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  14. #74
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    Re: Jokes

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

  15. #75
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    Re: Jokes

    If Mice Owned Computers...

    A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.
    Maya Angelou

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