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    Delfim's Avatar
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    Article: OPINION: Friends!

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    No
    Hate Facebook.
    A special kind of hate.

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    Wirelessly posted (iPhone 4S: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; CPU iPhone OS 6_0 like Mac OS X) AppleWebKit/536.26 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/6.0 Mobile/10A5355d Safari/8536.25)

    To each their own.

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    It is possible be on both sides of the spectrum. It does not have to be one or the other.

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    No offense meant. Just feel too old for it.
    Kinda like why my parents parents hated rock and roll.
    Just don't understand it so it afears me.

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    Facebook is the microscope that magnifies our stupidity. Not everyone on Facebook is lame, but you have to admit when going through the comments on your wall thingy that sometimes you wish you had the ability to punch people in the face through the computer monitor.

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    I limit but participate in Facebook. Ask Roger and Delfim, who I unfriended a year or so ago. I use it to keep in touch with old, old friends from years ago, and we chatter and catch up. But my "friend" list is only about 60 people or so, and folks like Roger and Delfim, whom I can contact here at the Stacks, will not be facebook friends. Facebook is something you can use for your own purposes. I agree with Delfim's sentiments here that, if not carefully controlled, it can steal us from true friendships.
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    I recently joined FB two years ago right before my 35th HS reunion to keep tabs on the happenings of the reunion. I reconnected with and have had personal interaction with a lot of the people I hadn't seen in a long time. Nancy and I go to Little Rock and eat with many of my high school friends on a regular basis, whom we would not have otherwise reconnected with if not for FB. There is some silly stuff on there, but since we're all over 50, that's kept for the most part at a minimum. I guess it's all in how you use it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capdot View Post
    ...admit when going through the comments on your wall thingy that sometimes you wish you had the ability to punch people in the face through the computer monitor.
    Well sure that happens. And when it does, I then have the option to hide comments from those people or unfriend them all together. I don't have to put up with any stupid comments that I dont want to. And I have to say, there are also times in RL and I am with someone that I want to lunch in the face. LOL Dont get me wrong... I know that FB is not for everyone. I just think that the issues that people have with it can be addressed and that it's possible to have the best of BOTH.

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    I want to lunch in the face...
    That only happens in Florida :/

    The point I was trying to make is that it's not for me. First you need friends and to be able to hold a conversation without it getting weird, im so socially awkward people tend to shy away from me after a few seconds once they realize im some kind of social degenerate.

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    My wife and I have been married for going on 16 years. In that time, we have moved almost as many times, the last, a move from Sacramento, CA to Greensboro, NC.

    My immediate family lives in the Chicago area, except for one sister who lives in Memphis, TN. Nieces and nephews are in Texas, Tennessee, Colorado and California. My wife's family is spread out over California, Colorado and Nevada.

    Having moved so much and so often, and having never really lived close to family, we've barely had time to make friends wherever we've lived.

    Facebook has its drawbacks for sure, especially with upcoming elections and the timeline being flooded with people for and against the whole Chik-fil-A fiasco. For me these days, Facebook is more of a networking tool for my businesses, but it's also a way to keep tabs on my family and friends from days gone by. I also get to follow a recent reconnection with a son I gave up for adoption almost 33 years ago, whose wife is about to have my second grandchild.

    So say what you will about Facebook, and there are undoubtedly people out there I'd really like to bitchslap, but me? I kinda like it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capdot View Post
    That only happens in Florida :/
    .
    Haha! That's what I get for trying to type too fast from my phone.

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    I think what we should all lea not to have is an open mind rather than a closed one An example of which as Jay mentioned is Rock and Roll, both my parents who have now passed away and loved Dean Martin Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby also liked Elvis Presley, and to my surprise Prince particularly Purple Rain, my point is they were willing to listen instead of turning around and saying it's bad. Maybe it was living through the blitz and fighting in the second World War that led them to believe that life is precious and learning and experiencing new things is important.

    We should not look and things as black or white buts should understand there are shades of gray and other colors too Life is about learning and not closing our minds, Facebook has a great many uses as Roger points out, just as it is important to connect with friends in person it sometimes not possible to do so due to finances and distances, sometimes you lose contact due to jobs and moving round the world, technology can bring you back together. If kids spend too long on fb or the web we should educate them about the beauty of nature and sport and connecting in person. But most importantly we must educate them and ourselves to accept each other, to listen to others opinions and see the value in those opinions before dismissing them rather moving to a compromise. Politicians could do well to learn this too, America would be a better place for it.

    Sorry for the rant
    Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful, and optimistic. And we will change the world. - Jack Layton (1950-2011)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Capdot View Post
    That only happens in Florida :/

    The point I was trying to make is that it's not for me. First you need friends and to be able to hold a conversation without it getting weird, im so socially awkward people tend to shy away from me after a few seconds once they realize im some kind of social degenerate.
    +1
    Describes me as well. I'm factual, up front, to the point then I'm done. Doesn't hold well in conversations.

    I can share my uncensored thoughts quickly and sometimes without concern for political correctness. Gets me in trouble when folks don't understand. That's real life. The interwebs take the tone and facial expressions out of it, and more misunderstandings happen.

    Honestly my life is dull. I work, rest, etc. There is nothing that is exciting I want to share. What is exciting to me isn't to others. Ever get caught by the guy who wants to discuss his favorite hobby and you could care less? I'm that guy.

    Lastly, I prefer to actually speak to my family. To say things have been strained between my mother and I in the past is an understatement. Now I'd rather call her than email. It means more.

    My wall irritates me. Wanna comment, call. There are only 2 people I communicate with regularly electronically. My brother in law and sometimes Del.

    Both get bored with me

    Think of my avoidance as a public service.

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    After all is said and done, and quoting Roger "to each their own", I don't want to be branded hypocritical, because I do look into Facebook. I use the Messenger, sometimes by mistake (ask Roger) when I think I´m using GTalk.
    People have different reasons for using social media. Some are for commercial intents, objective. Some are to divulge situations that will shock us with their authenticity, or lighten our load with joyous human moments. But most use it, for all reasons, especially the need to say something to someone and many, about trivia, obnoxious demonstrations, declarations and so on and so forth. Pure gibberish.
    If these people had a life, their postings, their communications, the gibberish wouldn't have any substance orplace in their conscious thoughts. They´d be busy with something worthwhile. They would rather, healthily, be sowing new friendships and relationships, caring for the ones they already have with their family, their school friends, work friends and the closest social physical contacts. the neighbour that most of them don't even know.
    All these points are very, very pertinent. I don't wish to individualize, but how many of you know about friendships, love (?) relationships, eventual marriages, get togethers, that have turned shocking and perverse? Technology does not create bonds. All these social relationships are superficial, unknown and even anonymous.
    You know its far more difficult break up a real, live, relationship with someone, when you are face to face. This a human condition. It's hard, you learn and you go forward a little better knowledged and prepared. To take this step using technology, is just a click away. No character building here. In actual fact (this is the worst) most users encarnate a totally different personality. You never know who you´re dealing with. Or they don't know who you are. And we could (I could) go on forever...
    I prefer a messenger to shorten the distance if no alternative is available. Find the peolple you care about, yes I agree, but then take it further. Direct one to one conversation. Facebook has one (I use it via IM+) and all other social services have some form of direct communication as well.
    BBM was good at that. One on one. Maybe you´d form a interest group and take it from there. Not bad, although it also annoyed me somewhat.
    Because, regardless of how friendly you may be, how many times you liked or unliked, how many times you shared, (please accept my apologies) you have done nothing of the sort. Absolutely nothing. To be able to do that, really, you have to be there. All of you. And that´s when you are you. You like or dislike, get liked or disliked, you share or you don't, but that´s how you get to know who you´re interacting with. And they get to know you too.
    And today, especially with our youngsters, this is becoming an extremely difficult exercise.
    Last edited by Delfim; 08-05-2012 at 10:16 AM. Reason: Typos and grammar

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