I applaud this. Should be included on every contract, not just for children.
You can view the page at http://forums.pinstack.com/content.p...-Rules-for-Son
I applaud this. Should be included on every contract, not just for children.
Well, I don´t. Why should it be an iPhone (or any smartphone or dumb phone) to implement this type of behaviour? It should have been taught since the 13 year old was born.
This isn´t a contract. This will be perceived as blackmail. It´s an attempt by the parent in bringing control to a kid that has probably caused problems already and that warrant this type of treatment.
When he gets to 17 or 18 I wan´t to see if the contract has been honored. Or, as is unfortunately the case these days if it isn´t his peers that will rule.
At 13 he should have that type of civil responsibility already. If it only starts now he´ll never get there.
And that´s what the parent probably learned, late, all by herself.
I think having a contract is a great idea for any big ticket item, but I also agree with Del that this should have been tough gently from day 1. What I don't like is that she did it at Christmas and called it a Christmas present, I am sure many of his friends will get the phone with no contract. The sentiment is great, phone training is fantastic along with manors which many of us forget. My feeling is that I would have more given it based on rewards for work done and explained that the phone is under contract which the parent is responsible for, and then explain the importance of the contract above.
Christmas to me is a time to exchange gifts, not the several hundred dollar gifts, but. the thoughtful gifts that you know someone wants but does not have
I didn't want to bring religious (whatever one) thoughts to my reasoning, but since you did, I couldn't agree more. I also stated that the thirteen year old maybe uncontrollable already. Maybe not, and I hope he understands.
It's the teacher that's no good and has left it too late.
And timed it all wrong.
Hmm I suppose in a way I bought in religion, however the article mentions Christmas present, obviously each of the religions in this world have specific holidays of note (that's what I loved about living in Singapore in that there were holidays for each of the religions and it allowed one to see and understand how different people celebrated their various different beliefs and join with them. Gift giving is normally performed in one way or another).
In this case it is not so much the issue, I would have the same if it was a birthday. So yes I think we are in agreement
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful, and optimistic. And we will change the world. - Jack Layton (1950-2011)
Blackberry PlayBook 64GB Nokia 1020, Microsoft Surface PRO 2
I like the idea of rules for a kid getting a phone. Though a few of these seem to contradict themselves. She has told him to leave the phone at home, but not to miss a call from Mom or Dad. Which would he get grounded for taking it with him and thus being able to answer when they call or leaving it at home and missing their call?
She just said to leave it home once in awhile, which I like.
I was observing this with my daughter and her friend who spent the night at our house New Years Eve. We went out for breakfast yesterday morning and both girls would pick up their phone between bites of their meal. My daughter will do the same thing while eating at home. It's annoying. We make her leave her phone downstairs on school nights, but I can see myself implementing more of these rules as this phone is too much of a distraction for my daughter.
One Sunday afternoon she was coming off a sleepover with a girlfriend where they were up until 4am (which is a whole other story!). Well, she had a book report that was due on Monday. No big deal, really.....just had to create a 2-3 minute report to give to the class. She spent about 5 hours in her room working on this report and had her phone with her the whole time (which I didn't know until later). So not only was she tired from being up so late the night before, she was constantly distracted from her work by posts on Instagram, texts, etc that she failed to complete her report. She came downstairs to ask for help from me, all the while checking her phone every minute for new messages. I was livid, my daughter was crying and frustrated out of exhaustion. My wife was a lot more understanding and told her she could finish the report the next morning before the bus came.
Anyway, reading this list of rules has given me some great ideas. Need to be a lot more strict with my daughter as she is absolutely GLUED and addicted to her iPhone.
I don't know Del. Today's kids have had these things around them from day 1. Emma's first pic was from a cell phone literally within the minute she was born.
To me it looks not like a bribe/blackmail or punishment but an opportunity fir the mom to correct and teach from mistakes she (and others) may have made. I call that good parenting, make your children better people than you are.
My boys got phones for Christmas from their mom. We spent 4 days with them and as much as I love them, there were times they made me cringe. We had to put down some rules.
I think this sort of thing will lead to a digitally responsible young man. I get so angry with people who prefer to post cats on instacrap instead of paying attention to the cashier in line. Loud talkers...people who use speakerphone in public places....
Maybe, just maybe, this young man will get noticed by his friends. Maybe he'll make a positive mark on one, two. Hopefully that would lead to more.
Well Jay, you teach your Emma from the word go all the civil things that are important, use every opportunity to teach and pass on what you and Caz know is right and I'll guarantee you when she gets her first smartphone (or mind reader lol ) she know what is right too, even if she needs a few reminders...
The minute you find the need to enforce a contract on your kid to and make him SIGN to enforce rules that you should uphold in your home, you're up the creek already. Or you're a blackmailer.
What if the kid refused to sign? What then? Deny the gift?
He did because he's already materialistic and just wants the iPhone. Whether he keeps his side of the deal is of no concern to him now. He'll handle that later.
I wonder if the mother had a written contract of sorts before he was conceived. If he had a choice.
Just to add... Sorry!
Our children are out gifts. We grow with them. They grow and learn from us. The good and the bad.
This isn't a business deal.
I think I see your point. I'm forced to agree although I wish it weren't so true.
I think you're reading a little too much into the whole thing, Del. Sure, it's our duty as parents to make sure our kids are responsible and well-adjusted, but in this case, I don't think the kid ever had a cell phone before. I don't see anything wrong with what the mom did here. I don't see it as a contract, but a way to reinforce what he has already hopefully learned and to make sure he uses this "privilege" wisely. As we all know, too much of a good thing can be detrimental to one's well-being and this is the mom's way of ensuring he understands that.
The kid is only 13. I, for one, needed continuous "counselling" well into my early 20s.
Well Rog, you´ve put it well. My Dad or Mom, and I betcha yours too, didn´t find the need to put pen to paper. Although we didn´t have phones and smartphones at the time, there were other things that we could do that were just as bad...
For us phones are not allowed at the dinner table, no testing etc. Phones get left on the coffee table during family time unless there is a really good reason
Homework, phone should be in a different room after all would you be allowed to do your homework in front of the television?
I have no issues with the contract in fact I like idea of it, but I would do this a as a gift, (Birthday Christmas, etc) better as a reward for work done.