WANTED : SANTA CLAUS AKA SAINT NICK, KRIS KRINGLE, FATHER CHRISTMAS
REWARD : BOX OF UNEATEN COOKIES, GLASS OF WARM MILK.
DESCRIPTION : ROTUND. PORTLY (OR PLAIN OVERWEIGHT) WHITE MALE WEARING FLAMBOYANT RED VELVET SUIT TRIMMED WITH WHIE FUR (POSSIBLY BABY SEAL), CHEST LENGTH WHITE BEARD, RED VELVET HAT ALSO TRIMMED WITH WHITE FUR. MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BELLS ATTACHED TO VARIOUS PARTS OF BODY.
KNOW ASSOCIATES : 8 (EIGHT) MUTATED (HAVE ABILITY TO HOVER/FLY) QUADPED MAMMALS DISTANTLY RELATED TO REINDEER FAMILY. ONE CONSIDERED HEAVY DRINKER (IDENTIFIED BY REDDISH "GLOWING NOSE) NAMED RUDOLF, AND OTHERS IDENTIFIED AS PRANCER, VIXEN, COMET, CUPID, DONNER, BLITZEN, DANCER, DASHER. ALSO CONSORTS WITH COUNTERFEITING TOY MAKING ELVES.
Accepting request of one (1) Samsung Galaxy Nexus or one (1) Samsung Galaxy S2 (Sprint Variant) and entering into oral contract to deliver said devices, and nor delivering said devices, thus breach of oral contract.
On or about midnight (12:00 am) 25th December, 2011 Santa Claus did not make timely delivery of agreed upon devices to the residence of Jay Cooley (complainant), nor did he present funds for said device.
Santa Claus is hereby deemed an enemy of the state to be blown out of the freaking sky on sight.