I have hands that are big and posess more strength than Samson. I never drop it.
The lord once sent 12 of his Angels to take my iPhone so he could FaceTime and play angry birds with Moses. What ensued was a battle of epic porportions. Biblical even. Sitting, surrounded by the scorched earth I cried to my heavenly father "why lord! You have my soul but you will never take my iPhone"
He appeared before my as a burning iPad and said "I am what I am and I'm an Apple fanboy"
And before me strode God in all his glory, and he said to me
"Ye walk through the valley of evil.
Fear not. My rod and my Android will comfort you.
Not even Jobs patience can help me understand WHY I have to deal with iTunes"
He then took me to the lip of a valley. Before me stood a majestic army, an army of iPhans. They covered the ground below me, swarming over hill and dale. A chorus of Siri trumpeted their battle cries.
"Copyright, copyright!" They chanted, working themselves into an incredible frenzy.
Fear griped me, never have I seen such a sight!
God placed his arm around me and rose his Samsung Galaxy S2 into the air. A light brighter than 1000 suns engulfed the valley. The smell of warm fried apples filled the air. As the light faded none stood.
Now I'm going to go prepare for lightning to strike me.