Well it's time for me to move on. I will check on you all from ... Networking with PinStackers forum
Time to say goodbye for a bit.
Well it's time for me to move on. I will check on you all from time to time, but for awhile this will be my last post. so smooth you got some big boots to fill and I know you will do great.
I'm not a very religious person even tho I grew up very Christian. I in my older days have given up on God. I have lost myself, who I am, who I once was. I had a childhood anyone would die for. Loving parents, brother, and grandparents. Not to mention my own family who supports my every move. I need to get back to my roots, the old kid I knew. I have ignored and pushed things and people aside and have let them and myself down. In a Nut shell "I have lost all faith".
My eye opener is my mother. She is a wonderful lady that needs me. To be there and be strong along side my dad who will need me most. I'm 36 yrs OLD I feel 80. I have a beautiful wife, W great kids, a son in law in the Army and a 2 yr old grandchild, and another grandbaby on the way. For those who don't know me.
As I have grown older I have become cold, black inside and not worth a plug nickel. I do care and have feelings. Just have built my wall up with good mortar. I'm going to slowly tear down my wall and rebuild it with a welcome mat. I don't, and won't ask for forgiveness. I don't want forgiveness. I want to be heard. Which does mean I at some point will have to ask for forgiveness.
My mother has stage 4 Ovarian Cancer she's 57 and a tough ole boot, but I'm not. I'm mad, angry and hurt. Im worried for my father, and my mother. As all men love their mothers. I love mine and am scared to lose her so soon in this matter. She has started Kemo and is trying to balance out her life. As I prepare for the worst and try to spend quality time with her and be her son, and pick my father up as he will need, but I first need to pick myself up. I have lived, loved, and lost, and will do it many times again. I want my mother to have good last memories of her family and how strong we are as a whole. But now my feelings are not good. I have lost all hope and want to cave. But I can't I have people that need me to be strong even if I have to fake it.
I basically am writing this to you cause I have no one to talk to on how I feel. I will be back hopefully soon, but for awhile till I can find whatever it is I seek this is my last post. I do need you to understand my PS friends, and family. I will be available email or thru PingChat which is for BB users and iPhone and android users. PinChat ID: oufanatic
I hope to here from you all.
"Keep On Keepin On"
Thank you, Corbin
Last edited by sooner; 01-04-2011 at 09:59 PM.
Corbin, very sorry to hear about your mom, and I think I speak for most everyone here that she, and you as well will be in our prayers. While we are not always privy to God's ways, He does have a plan for all of us. I lost my mom a few years back, from cancer so I can empathize somewhat, what you are going through. I wish nothing but the best for you, your mom and your family. You will be in my prayers.
Galaxy S4 Red
I've gotten to know you recently through a series of messages and you've helped me learn so many things while giving me a love for my iPhone. It doesn't sound like much but it's a lot for me. I am deeply sorry to read what you've posted about your mom and losing your faith. I haven't been through something similar but I can understand the premise of your concerns with faith. The most needed, and also most difficult, walk is the one you take on your own. In my opinion, sometimes you realize you walk alone and sometimes you realize that you are being carried (by God or someone else).
I'm glad you posted this so I could know more about you. I wish you and your family a safe journey along this cumbersome path. I'm happy you realized your importance to your family as being the "rock" that helps everyone get through to tomorrow. I only hope you can cope yourself with the difficulties that may bog you down.
I would have been looking for you and messaging you for help. In turn, I would wholeheartedly offer you my help at anytime, with anything you ever want to talk about. Obviously this is a severely personal matter that you may never want to talk to me about, but the offer still stands. Like you said, we are a family here at PinStack, so I'm looking out for you. And like Chokem said, you and your mother will be in our thoughts. I look forward to the day when you come back but I'll understand if it never comes.
Good luck in your endeavours and I will keep those boots filled!!!
I haven't had the opportunity to "befriend" you, except for the occasional exchanges, here on PS.
Your burden, unfortunately, is shared by many. Me, your friend next door etc. and mostly is unrecognized, unknown or worst of all, met with a shrug of the shoulders.
Your brief sentences are a good start. It's only by sharing and inviting people into your fold that you manage to find your way again: into your family, into your friends. They also will contribute to your "coming back", and inadvertently help in easing the pain and grief that you are burdened with. That, in turn, will reflect on those you are trying to help.
Your endeavors will be heavy, painful and difficult to surmount. It's here that a return to your faith will lighten the load. And remember, your direct family will feel the forgiveness of your newly reborn ways.
My prayers go out to your one and only mom. May Gods blessings support her in this fight.
With Gods blessings and Your love for her , she will strengthen her resolve.
May you also, find your way. Be strong and stubborn.
Samsung Galaxy S4
Asus Nexus 7
It is definitely times like these that make us lose our faith, become angry and bitter, etc. As someone else mentioned, just by posting your feelings here, you've started your journey back to the person you once were and want to be again.
Many of consider PinStack our extended family, so know, Corbin, that you are welcome here to post, grieve, vent.....whatever it is you need to do in order for us to help you in any way we can.
I have this story posted on the wall of my cube at work and refer to it often. Perhaps it will also help to carry you through these tough times:
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”
I love this Roger, I have seen it before and it is a great reminder. I learned along time ago that times get tough and things don't seem right or have answers, but I always rely on my creator and try not to fall away from the truths provided
Samsung Galaxy S4
Asus Nexus 7
sorry to hear about your mom that really stinks but cancer treatments have came along way i know cause my girlfriend had colon cancer and has beat it for 3 yrs now, hang in there my friend and stand by your mom and dad and fight right along with her, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers here also take care and we will see ya back here